It is usually unbelievable and difficult for individuals involved in love to come to term with the fact that it is possible to fall out of love.
The question, is it really possible to stop loving someone?
I fell out of love
I’m a type of lover who doesn’t fall in love easily but when I do, it’s my all.
No pretense about my love.
Everyone around me could testify to the fact that I loved.
You can call me the passionate lover.
It was quite unfortunate that I could fall out of love.
Really itching to know what happened?
The past weeks and days have been traumatic for me.
Life threw its biggest blow and fell to the ground I was.
I didn’t see it coming so as to prepare ahead.
It came as a rude shock!
Many unfulfilled dreams. Life seemed uninteresting.
Those things I usually encourage others on came staring at me with no mercy.
The scripture in 1st Corinthians 10:12 that says “he that thinks he stands should take heed lest he fall” came flooding back to me and I sank into the deep mess of guilt,
I was like, why would God allow this despite paying my spiritual dues?
I tried opening up to someone that got close during the crisis, but I guess she became cumbersome with other activities and couldn’t give me the full ears.
I lost the zeal for prayers.
Bible study became boring and I was only reading the Bible as an obligation not as someone seeking to pick instructions to run with.
Nothing else was making meaning to me.
I wallowed in my sadness alone.
Ignorantly, I began to break the communication link with Him; killing our relationship little by little.
However in the entire situation, no one would see me and know!
How Did I Achieve That?
I know how to cover up things so well, especially pains.
I was wearing my genuine smile, still caring for people and doing my daily tasks.
There was the need to keep sane even in the middle of the storm.
I gave my attention to other sources of joy since I wasn’t talking with my main joy giver.
As much as everything was pointing me to divorcing Him, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
How will I survive?
In those times of sorrow I kept remembering our vow “No Divorce, No Separation”.
While we were still so much in love, it was our song to each other; something we reiterated regularly. It became an anthem—but when life played out and punched this blow, I forgot about the vow.
Even though there has been no communication for days, I couldn’t close my eyes to the good things I have enjoyed while in steady relationship with Him. How can I forget His tingling sweet words spoken to my ears? All these kept replaying in my days of loneliness.
You can imagine the torture and anger.
Yet, I couldn’t say GOODBYE!
Saying that seven words was the hardest thing and I had no courage to voice it.
To put an end to the torture and come out of the den of sorrow:
What Did I Do?
No special immunity, anyone could fall out of love if care is not taken.
And so I decided to give love another chance!
The journey began. I started the process of making conscious effort to get back to love.
Though I feel I initiated the idea, but in my sub consciousness I know taking the glory is vain because He also wanted the reconciliation and was only waiting for me to be ready for love again.
First Things First.
- I analysed what brought about the sudden loss of interest in our relationship.
Is it possible to really fall out of love? I have never thought of it, the more reason it caught me unawares.
– My findings revealed that I became cumbersome with the pressures of life and forgot to nurture our relationship. No good plant can grow well without proper nurturing.
The zeal to see to the fulfillment of my dreams and aspirations clouded my senses, took my time and eventually sent my love packing.
– The worries of life also took the better part of me; what we shall eat, what we shall drink and what we shall wear.
My best description was well captured in the word of Jesus to Martha, “you are anxious and troubled about many things”
I totally blanked out on the fact that if God could be feeding the birds of the air steadily, clothing the flowers of the field beautifully, then He is able to meet all my needs in abundance because I’m much more valuable than everything ever created on earth. (Matthew 6:25-26).
During the time of challenges, we often shut down everything and the word becomes less meaningful. This is why the devil usually takes advantage of our weak point and weak period, be careful.
– Impatience with Him and the process He had in mind made me to break the communication flow. I wanted quick steps and not His usual way of analyzing situations, weighing the pros and the cons before making the favorable decision. He was too slow for me.
– Allowing the world’s standard to determine my stand was an undoing. Many are on this pedestal. Weighing your own success on the scale of another person’s life and achievements.
- I initiated a comeback. I had to create a time for us to talk; baring my hearts withholding nothing back. I told him my pains, my worries, my fears. What I think he was doing wrongly.
It felt good to pour it all out.
– Bringing back our major means of communication became easy immediately the first hurdle was crossed. We got talking! It didn’t feel strange like I thought, just something spontaneous. We started communication through the ever sure pathway −Prayers
– I got back to the Bible, my life’s manual.
What the devil wants is for you to dissociate from the Bible so he could strike.
I will say don’t fall out of love but it is not unusual to fall out of love with your lover−God.
The duration and what happens during the fall out will go a long way in determining the consequences. The devil is always on the lookout for times you will have a fall out with the Greatest Lover so he could attack.
You can’t afford to take the risk.
One other trick of the devil is to lure you out of the Pure Love of God by presenting what will look like a better option which at the end is destruction.
The situations staged in this write up are things we struggle with on daily basis; things that make us fall out of love for God.
- Sin could break the relationship.
- Worries and anxieties.
- It could be fear, doubts and unbelief.
- Unfulfilled expectations have made many turn their backs against God.
It is truly hard to keep trusting a system that seems not working or seems slow.
However, the truth remains that God’s system is ever working. It is reliable, efficient and prompt.
Don’t faint on the day of adversary.
This Hymn says
Simply trusting every day
Trusting through a stormy way
Even when my faith is small,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.
Trusting as the moments fly
Trusting as the days go by;
Trusting Him whate’er befall
Trusting Jesus, that is all.
This is the season to make deliberate effort with the help of the Holy Spirit to totally trust in God.
‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His word;
Just to rest upon His promise;
Just to know, thus saith the Lord.
Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him,
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er,
Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more.
Is your relationship with your spouse getting sour and at the brink of collapse? You can apply the steps stated for a reconciliation. Above all, seek the help of the Holy Spirit.
I will like to read from you. Can you relate with the story? What resonated with you?